Funny Christmas Eggnog Joke

Your Eggnog’s Too Strong
If you see a fat man …
Who’s jolly and cute,
wearing a beard
and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
while flying around
in a miniature sleigh
with eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
then lets face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong.

Funny Xmas Jokes - Crafty Cockney - Xmas Caper

Marge lost her handbag in the hustle and bustle of Xmas shopping in Regent Street, London.
A small boy found it and he returned to her. Looking in her purse, Marge reasoned, 'Hmmm.... that's strange.  When I lost my bag there was a £20 note in it. Now there are four £5 notes.'
The boy quickly replied with a charming smile and in a cockney accent, 'That's right, madam. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward.'

Funny Xmas Jokes - Father Xmas Calls

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Xmas.'
A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Xmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason.
'What's the matter, Al?' I asked.
'Ummmm', replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Xmas'.  

Funny Xmas Jokes : Roberta's Try-on

Roberta was going to the Xmas office party but needed a new party frock.  So she went into M&S and asked the assistant, 'May I try on that dress in the window, please?'
'Certainly not, madam,' responded the assistant, 'You'll have to use the changing room like everyone else.'

May this Christmas be so special

May this Christmas be so special
that you never ever feel lonely again
and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!